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And God Was Happy

In the beginning man created God. And man said: “Let there be God of Light and let there be God of Darkness.” And man separated those Gods and he called the Light God, Sun, and he called the Dark God, Moon, and so it was for 10,000 years.

Then man asked: “Why are the buffalo easy to hunt one day and another day hard to hunt?” And hungry man said: “Let there be Buffalo God who sacrifices his life so that I can live and he thanked God Buffalo for his concern,” and so it was for 10,000 years.

Then man asked: “Why does it rain sometimes and sometimes it doesn’t?” So man said: “Let there be Rain God who determines who is worthy of rain and who is not.” And man planted wheat and barley and prayed to God Rain for rain. And so it was for 10,000 years.

Then man said: “Let there be my God who prefers me and not your God who prefers you.” And man took his God with him to war against the other man and his God. And man enslaved his captors and brought sacrifices to his God, and so it was for 10,000 years.

Then man said: “Let there be ‘The One God’” which was another way of saying, “let there be my God who prefers me and not your God who prefers you.” And man murdered without mercy all those infidels that didn’t believe in The One God, and so it was for 10,000 years.

Then some man said: “Imagine there is no ‘The One God’ who is really ‘my God who prefers me.’ There is sun and moon, wheat and barley, buffalo and rain and me and you.” And that man asked: “How can we all exist together as one?” And so man freed his slaves and let the buffalo roam and developed hydroponic farming. And that man said: “We must stop being so fruitful and multi-plicitous and be responsible citizens of our world,” and so it was for 10,000 years.

And God was happy. Finally.

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