When the Rock Feels Heavy: Awareness in Uncertain Times

by Melanie Gruenwald

This week, I had a lot of big feelings.

I don’t know if it’s related to the energy in the world related to the upcoming Torah portion (biblical narrative) of Moses striking the rock to draw water—when he was meant to speak to it instead—or the experience of a world that feels scary, uncertain, and out of whack. Maybe it’s both.

I sense that many of us are on edge right now. The smallest things that wouldn’t normally set us off, do. Our words come out like blows rather than blessings. We demand rather than invite. We act rather than communicate. We react rather than pause.

And yet, in moments like these, the teachings and practices of awareness through Kabbalah remind me that every reaction can be an invitation. Every uncomfortable feeling is a doorway. Every “rock” is not just an obstacle, but an opportunity to draw forth what we truly thirst for.

This week, I was reminded of three simple—but powerful—awarenesses.

First, clarity is kindness.
Just as Moses was meant to speak clearly to the rock, we too can practice speaking with intention and compassion. When we are clear with ourselves and others, we lessen confusion, resentment, and the pain that comes from misunderstandings.

Second, take responsibility for your missteps.
There are moments when our frustration spills out sideways—when we strike instead of speak. Awareness means recognizing when we’ve caused hurt and owning it. This is not about shame—it’s about repair and growth.

Third, know which problems are yours to fix.
Not every mess is yours to clean up—but some are. Awareness invites us to pause and ask: Is this mine to own? Sometimes we inherit burdens that don’t belong to us, and letting those go is an act of freedom. But sometimes, the mess is of our own making—our words, our tone, our actions—and the kindest, most courageous thing we can do is take responsibility.

Cleaning up our own messes is a practice of accountability. It’s saying, “I see the impact I’ve had, and I’m willing to do the work to make it right.” Kabbalah reminds us that transformation happens not through denial or blame, but through honest self-reflection and repair.

So, if you find yourself “hitting the rock” this week, pause. Notice. Breathe. Ask: Can I speak to this instead? Can I be clear? Can I take responsibility? Can I step back from what is not mine to hold—and step forward to clean up what is?

This is the gift of awareness—a practice, not perfection. And in these small moments, we draw out the water that nourishes our soul.

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