by Dr. David Sanders
On June 5th we will be celebrating Kabbalah Experience’s 20th year. We are counting up to it. In our relationship to an anticipated event, it is our inclination to count down; 3 weeks to graduation, 2 days to a holiday, 11 hours to a guest arriving, 5 minutes to a class beginning. For some future events, we count up such as pregnancy counting up the months, as in “I’m in my eight month”. The key distinction between counting up or down is whether we “know” that the event will happen or not? If a c-section is scheduled for a pregnant woman on a given day, there will be a countdown to that date. The due date for a birth is not a certainty, so the woman who is pregnant counts up till the uncertain day of delivery. The challenge with this distinction is that even when an event is scheduled, we can’t be certain of it occurring as planned. Should we then not always be counting up as to count down implies a false assurance?
Between the holidays of Passover and Shavuot we count 50 days, and surprisingly we count the days up even though we know that event will happen, meaning the holiday of Shavuot, which is on the calendar will occur as planned. The Kabbalists introduced a bold idea. The holiday of Shavuot is dependent on our counting the 50 days and so it is as indeterminant as when a birth will occur or how long we live. The lesson to glean is that counting up has yet another lesson for us. If we are not mindful and paying attention to create significance, to make time sacred, time passes us by.
In the film Cast Away, the character played by Tom Hanks, a Fed Ex manager, admonishes his employees to never turn their backs on time and “to never ever allow ourselves the sin of losing track of time.” That is the reason, he explains, every FedEx office has a clock, “because we live or we die by the clock.”
Our relationship to time can be one predicated on fear, it is the enemy we battle against. Time can be joyous, a gift to be lived fully in the moment.
A week ago my dear friend and long-time student of Kabbalah Experience, Michael Rudnick, let go of his body which was riddled with cancer. Michael was one of four men who started studying Kabbalah with me in 2004, it was a precursor to the start of Kabbalah Experience. When I first learned of his diagnosis I was counting up, hoping he would be able be at our 20th anniversary event. We don’t know the count of our days, for Michael it was 70 years. Michael was an avid golfer, so he knew well to be precise on time, tee time. but he lived his life in fully present teatime. Whenever I was with him, he was clear how much time he had allotted, and it was sacred because of the importance and attention he placed on being together.
The Kabbalists taught what it means to count up. Our counting, the attention we give creates the fullness of the time. There are those rare people you can count on to be totally present with you. Michael was that person.
1 Comment
Gwen · April 25, 2025 at 10:39 am
“Empathy Rap” by Julian Allen (live performance upon request):
When trauma hits and heartbreak rips, we need support and love, not solemn bits and shortened hugs.
But that’s all there seems to be!
“I’m so sorry” and awkward pats on the knee and that just doesn’t feel that great when your mom’s gone and you can’t heal that ache caused by your emotions being real awake!
And you just want presence. Someone to sit there and listen and empathize back and swallow their wisdom and I don’t want to wallow in criticism or follow what’s missing, so missing this vision, the gist of what’s livin’ in me!
The connection I felt with I could just be. Just be there for others and listen to loved ones and let them know you hear them and it’s not just by custom but you’re someone who’s here they can fully put trust in.
This isn’t just in!
No one seems to know how to empathize and not fix it but just sit with the woe and let it be shown with no judgments attached or bunches of facts or misperceived duty to trudge through the act of consoling when you’re actually holding yourself aloof ’cause you’re also basking in mourning! There’s no “have-to’s” in support. Sometimes it’s worse! If you can’t sit with the person ’cause you haven’t worked on YOU first, in sorrow, it hurts. I know. That’s why I’m speaking. I’ve found presence such a powerful teaching, an hour of reaching relief so that I’m eager to weep and escort others to relieve their grief; not abort.
So I’m putting this out: a request: if someone’s in pain — and you’re willing to — a suggestion.
Center your brain on the Present of Presence and in there remain
as a blessing.
(With permission from the author Julian Allen to share)